Odds and Ends

o0O 9 More Days of School O0o

Indeed, school is almost done except for final tests and wrapping up of Stuff. You know, very important Stuff like Awards, Turning In of Books, and Cleaning Out of Lockers. Of course, there is also the ever-present desire to have a Free Day. Which is not entirely unattractive to the teacher as well as the student, but the teacher, being the Adult, has to say, Sorry, Kids, No Dice.

Since it is my last year at Clarendon, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about the whole thing. I even got a bit of moisture in my eyes at graduation on Friday. I keep looking at the kids and thinking about how they're going to grow up, how they're going to have a different teacher next year, how they're going to forget all about me in about 20 days. Yeah.

I still don't have a job lined up for next year. If you know of anything open in my area, drop me a line, please. I have been doing quite a bit of scouting with no luck so far.

In other news, I bought a new laptop. The keyboard went out in my old one. It might be repairable, but I couldn't see going without for two or three weeks. When I realized that the old computer was that far gone, I got a knowledgeable friend to help me pick a new one out. I've been thinking about buying one for a while, but hadn't done it because of the expense. Now I am learning how to use Windows 7. (It's surprisingly similar to Mac OS X.)

Guess I'm ready to be back at school tomorrow bright and early! As I often tell myself, whether the days go badly or well, they will go.

Red + Blue

run run run
Red runs
Red runs far
come back, Red
Red does not hear

Blue stays
Blue stays home
come back, Red, says Blue
Red does not hear

Blue is sad
Red is too far
Blue does not like it

Red is sad
Red is too far
Red does not like it
Red will run now
Red will run home

No Answers

o0O 19 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL O0o

Yes, indeed, and only three more Mondays to go because Memorial Day is a holiday. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I am feeling less stressed now, mainly because I took Friday off and went to see my sister and her new baby for a couple of days. It was very relaxing to play with the niece and nephew and help my sister go shopping. Mommies with small children don't do anything quickly, and that's exactly what I needed, a slow pace. I do have to remind myself often that "more" plus "quickly" doesn't always equal "better."

No real solutions to anything that's been hovering unanswered have appeared. In fact, other unpleasant issues have arisen. But that's OK. I know God is in charge, and I know He loves me. If there is anything to suffer through, I will suffer through it holding His hand, and I know I can make it with Him.

OK, I promise next time I will post on a lighter topic.

HELP!

o0O 24 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL O0o

I am still stressing. I don't know how to make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!

I know I don't have much to worry about. I know that it will all work out. Still, it's like there's something broken in my brain and I can't turn it off. And there's also a big part of me that just wants to escape and not have to deal with life.

Lately I've just felt, well, neurotic. Mainly I just want people to leave me alone. I want to do my own thing without interference. When people (especially my family) disrupt my plans, the grouch monster returns.

I apologize for my rotten mood. It is seriously icky and I need to get rid of it. I would say I'm trying, but I'm really not, cause I've lost all motivation. My Superhero will have to dig me out of this one.

Stress City

I didn't post last week because I was working on lesson plans clear into Sunday night. I avoided that this week by getting them done early this time. Ergh. I am SO ready for summer vacation.

This week has been full of stressful events. I had an interview for a different job on Tuesday. My sister had a baby on Wednesday, and the baby is still in the hospital from complications. (He should be getting out soon.) I had a date on Friday with a guy I had never been out with before. Then our school prom was Saturday night, and I just couldn't bring myself to go. I just needed some time to chill.
Because of everything going on, I have been even more spacey than normal. For example, yesterday I was going to cook some chicken to make enchiladas with. I put the water on to boil, then an hour and a half later, I walked through the kitchen and noticed the water boiling. I had forgotten I had even started it! Then after I put the chicken in the pot, I forgot about it too. I didn't remember it again until I had already gotten ready for bed. I got up to check the thermostat, and there the chicken was, on the stove, boiling away. I'm so glad I was feeling a bit hot!
I'm trying not to worry about anything. I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to trust the Lord. Say, when does this get easier??

This is my new nephew, Logan. I think he has the West nose.

Life Changing

OK, I admit it, I've become a TLC watcher. It started off innocently enough with "What Not to Wear." Then I kept watching through "Hoarders." Now I want to catch "19 Kids and Counting." When does that come on?

It's so interesting to see people change over the course of the show. I love to see the people on "What Not to Wear" get transformed into more stylish versions of themselves, and I love to see the people on "Hoarders" finally get their houses cleaned up. (Actually, the first part of the show makes me want to clean uncontrollably. I mean, what if I end up like that?)

I'm enamored with the idea of making life better and better and better until finally I have reached the maximum most amazing life ever. Is this an American way to think? It's not very realistic.

My idea of getting better and better needs to be replaced. Instead I need to prioritize more. It's not really necessary that I do everything that I think of to do. If I am busy doing something important (like playing with my nephews, for example), it's not terrible that I didn't do something less important (like washing my car). I guess, really, it's about balance and cutting myself a little slack in some areas, while being a bit more disciplined in others.

I think I'm figuring this out. There is no easy life, we just have to do the best we can with the one we've got.

I'm glad God is gracious, and that He is in control. Otherwise I would become totally psychotic trying to make it all work out.

Ending/Beginning (Because They're the Same)

...49 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL...

Yes, I am getting ready for this school year to be over. The seniors have about a month left, then they will be gone. We've finished one end-of-course test (literacy), but there are a jillion left to get through (algebra, algebra II, geometry, biology), and there are all the AP tests, the 9th grade norm-referenced test, and the benchmarks for 7th and 8th grades (which luckily won't affect me). Actually, none of the tests affect my subjects at all (a blessing). They just interrupt my classes.

Tests are what we are going to be suffering through over the next 49 days. Then when we finish all of those, we are going to give our own semester tests. And I hope I can squeeze in the rest of the material that I need to cover for the year, especially in Physical Science. Reteaching topics that the students had trouble with slowed us down a lot. (But of course moving ahead when they still don't get it makes about as much sense as putting your shoes on before your socks.)

On the home front, since I have resigned my position for next year, I have been scouting for jobs at schools closer to home. I've had a few jobs turn up, but not a lot. I am feeling a bit nervous, but excited about what next year is going to bring.

I'm also working on my house. I have a mobile home parked on my dad's land. It has electricity hooked up to it, but that's all. It is in no way livable right now, and I really want to be able to move in when school is out June 4th. Before I move in I have to get a driveway laid, the water line run from the meter, the floors redone (they have water damage), the walls painted, and some new appliances put in. That is not the work of one weekend.

OK, so I am going a bit crazy with these tasks swimming around in my head. Maybe I should start a few dozen lists...