Oil and Wine

And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart. Psalm 104:15

I staggered, looking for the wine,

A bottle of chemical joy, the oil

That lubricates the mind and breaks the heart.

My heart was crusty and cold;

My heart could not relent;

Wine was my desperate need.

Get a grip, I told myself, you don't need

A crutch, a prop, that's the wine.

The cloud of doom can hover, unrelenting,

And malice pressurize like unclaimed oil,

I have no quarrel with the cold,

And what lasts longer than a dehydrated heart?

I petted myself, pleased with my heartlessness.

I was proud because I did not need

Wine nor oil to keep out the cold.

There was vinegar instead of wine,

And barrels empty of oil.

I kept myself closed, and would not relent.

Though starving and dry, I would not relent,

Chopped and dusty, pieces of my heart

Chafed, longing to be oiled.

The bitterest heart owns the bitterest need,

The need for new wine,

A thaw to dissolve the coldness.

Strangely, a flicker of heat endured the cold,

A flicker that softly pressed me to relent.

Though half-choked, I begged the Lord for wine,

Wine to make glad my cheerless heart.

The tiny light illuminated my need.

Pour out, pour out on me the oil!

He poured out on me rivers of oil

That soaked into the crevices of coldness.

He loosed to me utter joy in my need.

He whispered, repent and relent.

Good God, I feel the flesh of my heart

Refreshed, soaked with new wine!

Oil of gladness covered me when I relented.

The cold, deadened organ reddened to a beating heart.

In my need, I drank the best wine.

Curtains

Baby, take your bow.

You've reached the close of the show,

And the stage curtains are falling.

Baby, what now?

You didn't plan for the end of the show.

The act that consumed you is concluding.

Baby, where to?

You step off the stage, step out of your shoes,

Wipe off the make-up, the costume is fading.

Baby, make your move.

The deceptive acclaim won't show up on the sidewalk,

Puzzled, you wonder why the limo's not waiting.

Baby, it's over.

A falling star is no longer star of any show,

So crawl in with the good folks who stop to pick you up.

 Picture from http://www.chictopia.com/photo/show/13399-sad+ballerina-tally-weijl-top-h-m-kids-corner-skirt

What I Could Do

I could

Try to overturn each and every rock

To see what lies beneath.

I could, or

I could walk straight toward you and see what bounties I trip over on the way.

I could

Reach for each and every glinting star,

Each star a promise, each grab a chance to acquire something better.

I could, or

I could reach for you and only you and take the jewels you place in my hand.

I could

Hold tight to each and every prize I win

And keep it close and never split my cache with anyone.

I could, or

I could let it go, with open hands, and watch it multiply like loaves of bread.

Lonely

Lonely leads me to places

I never thought I'd see,

Where the misfits throw stones at the stars,

And the smallest tear weighs more than a ton.

Lonely carries me to regions

That I never thought I'd be,

Places where the coins have third and fourth sides,

And every choice has desperate consequences.

Lonely shows me things,

Heavy things that frighten me,

Blank books with no words to write,

Blank looks with no thoughts inside.

Lonely is a bully, a giant with evil intentions.

He steps on my heart, crushing my hope,

Crushing my beating, blood-filled heart.

Lonely, let me be alone!

I will be only alone and not lonely.

Tiny Steps

Reaching out, still frightened,
Eyeing friendly strangers with wondering caution.
Going alone, but looking around, not down.
Another day's sun will shine still brighter, even as
Night falls on the sprouting seed.

I Run To Him

I am clinging to the boat

I made with my self-will and self-sufficiency.

The storm flies quick about me,

A storm that God has sent to set me free.

I see my boat is breaking,

The pieces drift away.

The more I try to gain,

The more I lose.

I look out across the water.

I see a man standing there with eyes as fire.

While the waves are rising higher,

He's peaceful still, and walking on the sea!

I run to Him, I run to Him,

Across the stormy water,

To the safety of His heart.

I run to Him, I run to Him.

Where could I be safer, than in my Savior's arms? I run to Him.

I felt that I was strong enough,

Strong enough to keep my world from going wrong.

Strong and tough and angry,

I kept myself from feeling any harm.

Yet God knew how to break through

The protection that I built.

My careful hands can't save me,

But He can.

I run to Him, I run to Him,

Across the stormy water

To the safety of His heart.

I run to Him, I run to Him.

Where could I be safer, than in my Savior's arms? I run to Him.

The Platypus

He's an odd gentlemen, he

With mouth and tail equally heavy,

Like a teeter-totter on land,

Like a missile in the water.

There's venom hidden in him.

His cuteness notwithstanding, I don't

Want to allow my much-loved appendages near,

For he can strike me down.

Intrigued by him, I will not

Discontinue the research, yet

I hesitate –

Imagining the strike.