Why I Never Keep My New Year's Resolution

How many times have I actually carried through with my New Year's resolutions? Let's see...

• One year I resolved to quit drinking coffee. That lasted almost three months, when random cheating lead to complete failure.
• One year I resolved to floss my teeth daily. I didn't do it then. I only do it now because I have braces and I want to have teeth left when the braces come off.
• One year (it was this year) I resolved to stick to an exercise routine. Uhhh... I still can't run farther than two blocks at a time.

I always know what I need to do. I know I need to listen more, be more flexible, work harder, give more. Knowing is not my hang-up. My hang-up is doing it.

When I read Romans chapter 7, I find the apostle Paul had the same problem. He said, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not" (v. 18). He goes on to echo more of my thoughts: "For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" (v. 19). Exactly, Paul, exactly!

By verse 24, Paul gets to the question I have asked so many times: "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" Tell me, Paul, what is the answer?

"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Wait a minute, Paul, is that an answer? You are thanking God? For what? For being a miserable wretch who can't even do the good things you want to do? I don't get it.

And I didn't get it for a very long time. I didn't get it until I realized that I can't do anything good on my own. That it takes a work of Jesus Christ in me to change me. That no matter how much better I might become that I'm still going to be mostly rotten. That Jesus Christ has paid for all my sin, past, present, and future. That more than wanting me to try extremely hard to be good, he wants me to try extremely hard to stay close to him. And I can do that.

Even now, even though I still am unable to do the good things I want to do, even though I still do things I know I shouldn't do, I can say along with Paul, "I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Words

When I was born, I was like an empty glass, ready to be filled. And since I was a very little girl, what I wanted to be filled with was words.

I remember when I was five years old that my dad read to me from a book, a chapter book. My imagination was stoked by the words. I begged him every day to read to me more. He was a busy man, though, and he couldn't get through it as fast as I wanted him to. That's when I picked up the book and finished it myself.

After that, my glass must have sprung a leak, because no matter how much I read, I could never be filled with all the words. There were always more books with more stories. I read anything I could get my hands on, rather indiscriminately, I might add. I read through volumes of the encyclopedia. I even tried to read Gone With the Wind. (It was one of my first failures: too long.)

With all that reading, I fell in love with words. There are a vast number of words. There are short ones, long ones, simple ones, complex ones. There are words to express any thought. One book, the dictionary, can even tell you exactly what all the words mean, and how to pronounce them. (I learned to use the pronunciation key because I wanted to use new words without my parents laughing at me.)

What is it about words that hypnotizes me? Is it that the knowledge of great minds can be passed to me through their books? Is it that the authors have the ability to connect with my thoughts and feelings, and in some ways assure me that I am not alone? Is it that I can leave my somewhat boring life for a few hours and be lost in another time and another place? I think all these are true.

All kinds of animals can communicate with one another, with sounds and behaviors. Still, humans are specially gifted with words, and with the ability to record those words forever, as long as the writing is preserved. This, to me, is a wonderful gift from God.

Words have made me richer, stronger, and wiser. I hope my glass never gets full.

My Grown-Up Christmas List

In the spirit of Christmas, I now offer you... my Christmas list.

1. I want all my students to come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. He changed my life, and I want them to know Him too. He offers freedom and forgiveness, love and comfort; everything we need for living an abundant life.
2. I want to be a better friend. I want to take time to really talk to people, to hear what they say and to be there for them.
3. I want to get enough sleep every night.
4. I want to be truly thankful and joyful throughout the day. God has withheld no good thing from me, and there is no reason why I should be bitter or malcontent.
5. I want to have a husband and start my own family.
   
6. I want all my brothers and sisters and "adopted" brothers and sisters to get off to a good start in life, to be happy and serve the Lord in whatever they choose to do.
7. I want to have my house finished and ready to live in soon.
8. I want to be content with what I have and ready to give to others what I have freely received.
9. I know this is against #8, but I really want a new Apple laptop.
10. And last and least... I always want... itunes credit.
    

The Real Meaning of Christmas

The Christmas Wars have begun. I've just heard another person griping about people using the letter X in place of Christ's name in Christmas. This is actually a very old tradition, and was started because the first letter of Christ's name in Greek is the same as the English letter X. It has nothing to do with removing Christ's name and was more of a space-saving measure. (See this web page.)

But my question is, when was Christ ever in Christmas anyway? Nowhere in the Bible are we asked to celebrate his birth. We are asked to celebrate his death through the Lord's Supper, but that's it. Christmas (and Easter) are purely man-made holidays. If you research their roots, you will find they began when the Catholics christianized pagan holidays in order to make conversion for the pagans more palatable.

I'm not against Christmas at all; I'm just tired of the war between Christians and humanists about what Christmas means. Why do Christians think they can convert the lost by harping on and on about Santa Claus and lights and the word Xmas? Let's stick to the Gospel, folks, and let Christmas be.

See Romans 14.

The Good Is the Enemy of the Best

Sometimes (well, most of the time) when people tell me their dreams, I stop listening right after the "I dreamed" part. I do this because I know it's not going to make any sense, and I'm never going to have to remember it. (I might listen if it's an entertaining dream that includes volcanoes and/or murder.)

That being said, I'm going to write about some dreams that I had. You are perfectly welcome to stop reading after the words, "I dreamed."

A few nights ago, I dreamed that a demon had a stranglehold on me. While it had me in its clutches, it was mocking me, telling me that it had me right where it wanted me. It said I could never get away. As it spoke, its face and voice continuously changed to the faces and voices of people I knew. It seemed to be saying that in my life, it didn't appear as a demon: it appeared instead as something good and pleasant that I enjoyed, but behind the pleasantness, it had me hooked.

It has often been said that the good is the enemy of the best, and I believe this is true. I've been thinking lately about the way I spend my time and wondering if perhaps I am letting the demons win by neglecting important tasks and relationships for more pleasurable activities. The other activities aren't wrong in themselves; but because they are taking up time I should be spending in prayer, Bible reading, and relationship building, maybe they are tools of Satan.

I promise I don't think that all my dreams have meaning. However, I do think that once in a while, what I am consciously or subconsciously thinking about can come through loud and clear in a dream. At times, I think they are worth paying attention to.

So my dream last night? I dreamed I had a newborn baby boy and that I was teaching math at the elementary school. I still haven't figured that one out. ;-)

To Take a Walk, Where Waters Flow

Why, on an overall good day, do I let little things get me down? On my way home from school I was in a bad mood. Reflecting over it as I drove, I realized it was based on three little annoying things that happened:

1. The kids said that my hair didn't look as good today as it did yesterday. (Why even bother to mention that, kids?)
2. A friend sent me a text saying she was going to do something that I thought was a bad idea, but I didn't feel I had the footing to tell her so.
3. I caught a student with a phone five minutes before the last bell rang. She wouldn't give it up, and, after some other drama, ended up getting suspended from school for a week for insubordination.

This kind of bad mood always compels me to go for a walk/jog. (I jog until I use up all the extra adrenalin, then I walk.) This time I left my phone behind so that I would have nothing to distract me. I just walked and thought.

It picked me up again this time, although it took a little longer than usual. I was determined to walk down to the river, which is about a mile, I guess. I walked down the street where I used to live as a teenager. (Oddly enough, I saw a childhood friend at his mother's house, where we used to shoot hoops in the driveway.) I walked by my old home that's the same, but different. I walked by houses that used to be there, replaced by houses that are new. I walked by trees, and looked up into their crowns to see if mistletoe still grows there. I walked down to the river, the river that is always different, yet the same still. At the river, I watched men loading a rusty barge with grain so that one end sunk down into the water, and wondered how many tons it could hold. I walked by the school, and wondered if someone in this school was wondering who I am, the way I do when I see someone at my school who is not a student. I walked by the old barn, where there used to be goats, but there are none now, and the roof is falling in. I walked by the cotton gin that my great-great-grandfather and great-grandfather ran many years ago, but now is just a brick skeleton.

By this time, I began to get very cold and tired. The wind began to blow harder, and the sun was too low in the sky to be of any help. I had to tie my hood down to keep my eardrums from throbbing. That's when I stopped thinking of anything other than, man, I wish I were home now!

Now the little things aren't bothering me so much. I left them behind somewhere between here and the river.

Why Do I Have to Go to Church?

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger. --Keith Green

On the other hand, if you're not going to church, you're not much of a Christian either. --Me

Raise your hand if you've heard this before: "I believe in God, but I don't like organized religion." Or how about this one, "I don't have to go to church to worship God. I can worship him anywhere." These are just a couple of the many reasons people give for not attending church services.

Let's hit the first one first. Organized religion. Who do they think organized it? Hmmm, well, I believe it was Jesus Christ who did that. Maybe God is in favor of organized religion. Maybe if you don't like organized religion, you are not on God's side.

²⁴And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

²⁵Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24, 25

Now for the second one. Can you really worship God anywhere, in any way? The Samaritans thought they could. They worshipped God, but not in the way the Jews worshipped him. They worshipped in the mountain instead of at Jerusalem as was commanded by the law. Jesus didn't think much of their worship. He said they didn't know what they worshipped.

¹⁹The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.

²⁰Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.

²¹Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.

²²Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.

²³But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

²⁴God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

John 4:19-24

Jesus said that two things were necessary for worship of God: spirit and truth. I believe that worshipping in spirit means that I am not making an outward show, but that I am truly worshpping him in my heart. I believe that worshipping in truth means doing it in the correct way. In this time period, we are to worship God along with a body of believers, a church.

²¹Unto [God] be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

Ephesians 3:21

People don't want to be part of a church because it's hard. You have to put up with folks that irritate you sometimes. You have to make decisions and be responsible. You have to roll out of bed on Sunday morning and get dressed. You have to be accountable for your actions.

I know. It's hard sometimes. Still, I believe that it's totally worth it.