Sunday, March 14, 2010

My Grumpy Cocoon

I complain too much.

This is a continual thing with me. Often, when I am talking to someone, the first thought that pops into my head is a complaint. There always seems to be something wrong or someone is always getting on my nerves. I'll just face it, I'm plain grumpy.

A few days ago, a friend clued me in to how discontented I am. "You seem downhearted," she said. Oh, no, I thought, really? Did other people think that as well?

It's helpful to get that kind of feedback. I took a step back and reviewed my behavior. Yes, I do complain too much. Yes, I do let my problems suck the joy out of my daily life. Now, what to do about it?

The first thing I did was talk to the Lord. The Lord has promised that I can have joy in my life even when I have problems. If I am not joyful, there is a problem in my relationship with God.

Through prayer I realized that I am resentful because I feel I am not being appreciated for what I do. I realized that I am discontented because I believe I am not getting all that I deserve. I am letting seeds of bitterness grow in my soul and take the place of the good fruits that should be there.

Easy fix? Yes and no. No, because it was hard to own up to that resentment and bitterness. I could not believe that it had gotten that bad! Yes, because once I reminded myself that a loving God gives me everything that I need, the resentment and bitterness melted away.

God is like that, though. I get all cocooned up in some sin, then He takes the time to cut through the mess, and when the light finally shows through, I emerge, wondering why in the world didn't I do that sooner!

2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Regan, for the time you spent in the cocoon! I think we all get grumpy, and like with anything else, we have to make the effort and have the "want to" to change it. God just sits and waits patiently for us to come to Him with it, but oh how often I hold on to that anger/frustration/jealousy/discontentment, etc. because I just want to wallow in it until nobody feels sorry for me anymore. Then I finally allow God to handle it since everybody else failed me. Is that normal??!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm pretty sure it's normal. I figure it ought to get better, though. I'm still working on that.

    ReplyDelete