Monday, June 14, 2010

Perpetual Project

I've been out of school for over a week now, but I've been staying pretty busy working on my house. This project is going to eat me. Reminding myself that I'm getting it done bit by bit is the only way I can keep myself from being overwhelmed.

Here's a few things I've learned so far:

1. Don't pick out paint by looking for your favorite color amongst the 7 billion paint chips. Instead find something you like that's going in that room (a picture, a piece of furniture, etc.) and pick colors that jive with it. Also remember that what is bright and cheery on a tiny paint chip is going to be screaming at you when it's all over the walls. I still haven't got up the nerve to actually buy any paint other than primer.

2. Remodeling creates trash. It creates broken pieces of wood with nails sticking out everywhere. It creates packaging lying around. It creates parts of dismantled objects strewn across the room. It creates an old mattress in the back yard. Well, not really. We pushed that one out the door ourselves.

3. Everything I need to buy is expensive. Remodeling may be cheaper than buying new, but it still ain't cheap. I'm pretty sure I'm going to buy used appliances from newspaper ads just for this reason.

4. The best part so far is that I can work for a few hours, then sit back and see what I've done. It's slow, but I can SEE progress. That's good.

Maybe I will get some pictures up here eventually so all of you at home can see it too!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Growing

I've been waiting a lot lately. In my life, there are several things up in the air right now, and I'm not sure how they are going to work out. There is not much I can do to hurry them along, so I'm left wondering and waiting.

I don't like to wait. Unfinished business stresses me out. Uncertainty scares me. I want to know what is going to happen, and I want to know it now.

God doesn't give me what I want when I want it, though. He wants me to have faith in His work. He's not so much interested in keeping me happy as He is interested in making me holy, and holiness is not a character trait one can pick up at the grocery store. It's a life-long process.

I want to grow fast. I want to jump in and be a spiritual giant all at once. The Lord reminds me that growth occurs little by little. A sapling doesn't become a tree in an hour, a day, or a year, but over a lifetime. In the same way, my growth is occurring a little at a time. I'm extending my branches day by day.

But, oh, am I impatient to get there! And not only that, but I try to grow my own fruit. I nurse along little sucker branches that I know shouldn't be there. Somehow I think that if they grow big enough and strong enough, God will allow them to become part of the tree. I spend precious energy nourishing those branches, just to have the Gardener come along and SNIP them off. Oh, that hurts!

I'm encouraged, though, because I feel like my faith IS growing. Even if it's just baby steps, little by little, inch by inch, it's something. And whether or not my life issues get resolved to my liking or not, I have faith that they will be resolved in the way that is BEST for me.