Growing

I've been waiting a lot lately. In my life, there are several things up in the air right now, and I'm not sure how they are going to work out. There is not much I can do to hurry them along, so I'm left wondering and waiting.

I don't like to wait. Unfinished business stresses me out. Uncertainty scares me. I want to know what is going to happen, and I want to know it now.

God doesn't give me what I want when I want it, though. He wants me to have faith in His work. He's not so much interested in keeping me happy as He is interested in making me holy, and holiness is not a character trait one can pick up at the grocery store. It's a life-long process.

I want to grow fast. I want to jump in and be a spiritual giant all at once. The Lord reminds me that growth occurs little by little. A sapling doesn't become a tree in an hour, a day, or a year, but over a lifetime. In the same way, my growth is occurring a little at a time. I'm extending my branches day by day.

But, oh, am I impatient to get there! And not only that, but I try to grow my own fruit. I nurse along little sucker branches that I know shouldn't be there. Somehow I think that if they grow big enough and strong enough, God will allow them to become part of the tree. I spend precious energy nourishing those branches, just to have the Gardener come along and SNIP them off. Oh, that hurts!

I'm encouraged, though, because I feel like my faith IS growing. Even if it's just baby steps, little by little, inch by inch, it's something. And whether or not my life issues get resolved to my liking or not, I have faith that they will be resolved in the way that is BEST for me.