Oil and Wine

And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart. Psalm 104:15

I staggered, looking for the wine,

A bottle of chemical joy, the oil

That lubricates the mind and breaks the heart.

My heart was crusty and cold;

My heart could not relent;

Wine was my desperate need.

Get a grip, I told myself, you don't need

A crutch, a prop, that's the wine.

The cloud of doom can hover, unrelenting,

And malice pressurize like unclaimed oil,

I have no quarrel with the cold,

And what lasts longer than a dehydrated heart?

I petted myself, pleased with my heartlessness.

I was proud because I did not need

Wine nor oil to keep out the cold.

There was vinegar instead of wine,

And barrels empty of oil.

I kept myself closed, and would not relent.

Though starving and dry, I would not relent,

Chopped and dusty, pieces of my heart

Chafed, longing to be oiled.

The bitterest heart owns the bitterest need,

The need for new wine,

A thaw to dissolve the coldness.

Strangely, a flicker of heat endured the cold,

A flicker that softly pressed me to relent.

Though half-choked, I begged the Lord for wine,

Wine to make glad my cheerless heart.

The tiny light illuminated my need.

Pour out, pour out on me the oil!

He poured out on me rivers of oil

That soaked into the crevices of coldness.

He loosed to me utter joy in my need.

He whispered, repent and relent.

Good God, I feel the flesh of my heart

Refreshed, soaked with new wine!

Oil of gladness covered me when I relented.

The cold, deadened organ reddened to a beating heart.

In my need, I drank the best wine.