Prayer

Over the years, I have really struggled with prayer. I have trouble understanding why I need to pray. I have trouble making time to pray. I have trouble knowing what to say when I pray. I have trouble staying focused while praying. You see what I mean.

More times than I can count, I have asked the Lord to teach me to pray better. I want to be a prayer warrior, but I don't know how to become one. If only the Lord would flip a switch, or send me the right book with all the answers, I could get past this roadblock. It hasn't happened yet.

A couple of weeks ago, the Lord flipped a different switch, and I realized something important about prayer. It happened while I was repenting for my poor prayer life and asking again for help. I thought, if only I could learn how to pray, this part of my life would be easier! Then I thought, maybe it's never going to be easy. Maybe it's OK that I struggle through this every day. Maybe that's the way it is supposed to be. Maybe this is part of the battle.

You might think this would depress me, but it didn't. Instead, this gave me hope. For so long I believed that I was a terrible Christian because I did not pray well. Now I feel like I am fighting through the barriers every day, having a difficult time, but doing it anyway. It used to feel like a defeat, but now it feels like a victory.

I doubt that prayer is the only Christian discipline that this applies to. If you struggle with Bible reading, or attending church, or being kind to your neighbor, if you have to fight your way through, don't be discouraged. When you push forward, regardless of the opposition, you ARE winning.

Soldier on.